Posted by Anatomy
Friday, May 11, 2007 10:59am

Everything Conceivable



We all follow a traditional narrative of gender roles that is difficult to break out of. This is especially true when it comes to issues surrounding the family and reproduction. Who of us have not heard that declining fertility rates have to do with women waiting too long to have children? The 35 year-old woman who is seeking fertility treatment receives silent judgment from others. She waited too long. It’s kinda her fault because she focused too much on her education and career at the expense of having children, right? Women continue to be blamed for their infertility. In a recent interview with Liza Mundy, author of “Everything Conceivable” in Salon, Mundy states that “although men are now half or more of infertility patients, there's been so little conversation about this -- and yet so much conversation around the use of technology by women -- older mothers, egg donors.” Mundy explains that it’s only a small subset of fertility patients who are women over 38. There's never any discussion of the reasons why women and men are both conceiving at later ages. What are the reasons people wait so long to have children - unwilling partners, partners who don't exist yet, the misconceived desire to find the perfect Other (the myths of romantic love), financial reasons, bosses who actively discourage women from childbearing. What else? And yet there's this assumption that women suffering from fertility problems have just "decided" to wait. They brought this upon themselves.

In a documentary I recently watched called “Lovable” (which recently premiered at Hot Docs), Canadian documentary filmmaker Alan Zweig explores the yearnings for the romantic myths of our culture and the difficulty of finding and sustaining relationships. At one point in the film, Zweig, who is an older, single man longing for a relationship and children, reveals his sadness that several of the women in his life had abortions. He could have been a father – several times by now. It was a powerful point in the film partly because we never hear this story. It’s as if men aren’t part of this dialogue, this narrative. Where are the media stories about the men “waiting” to conceive? Where are the media stories about the men who regret abortions? Women get to control their fertility – no questions asked - but equality also means that we include men in the discussion and decision-making process.

Posted by Michelle
Wednesday, May 09, 2007 11:14am

Am I fat?



“Am I fat?” that’s the question of the day from my 13 year-old daughter. To me, she looks absolutely beautiful - perfect and I tell her so. I am angry at the anorexic culture around me and frightened by the new normalcy of girls who hate their bodies. And yet, like my daughter, I am just as much a victim of body image problems. Did she get her fear of being fat from me? Did I get it from my mother? Extra weight gain somehow reflects a lack of will power to me. Somehow, those extra pounds become a symbol of my inability to control my most basic impulses. And yet, isn’t food (and sex for that matter) all about satisfying our most primal needs and desires? How does pleasure factor into this dialogue? Let’s face it: chocolate-covered strawberries and ice cream can send women into a state of ecstasy. Food and pleasure go hand-in-hand (skipping) to the pastry shop and sex-toy store. Nymphomania and gluttony are both sins of the flesh and vices we all enjoy. It’s the binge and purge cycle all over. We lose ourselves to the pleasure of eating and then penalize ourselves by getting on the scale in the morning. Pleasure has been consumed by our fears of being fat.

Women have become so obsessed about being thin that their consciousness has become focused inward to the detriment of developing themselves as people. According to recent academic studies, eating disorders now affect up to 10 million Americans and 70 million worldwide. Perhaps more disturbing is that more than half of American women between the ages of 18-25 would prefer to be run over by a truck or die young than be fat, and two-thirds surveyed would rather be mean or stupid. According to Courtney E. Martin, in her new book, “Perfect Girls, Starving Daughters: The Frightening New Normalcy of Hating Your Body,” women must commit themselves to developing new attitudes about their bodies, and redirect the negative energy they spend on denying themselves contentment in order to become re-engaged with the possibilities of a better life. Our desire for the perfect body has become more important than love, joy and passion. Martin demonstrates that a generation of women is missing from the national dialogue on politics, culture, and economics, not because they don’t care, but because they are exhausted from binging, purging, and starving themselves to attain an unhealthy ideal.

My daughter has asked me to buy 1950’s pin-up type posters for her room. Marilyn Monroe has become a symbol of a time when women’s shapely, curvaceous bodies were celebrated. I look at the pin-ups of the past and want to dip my fingers into chocolate fudge...

See: www.strangesisters.com

Posted by Michelle
Wednesday, May 02, 2007 11:55am

Get Your Game On



Ever since video games have had vibrating controllers, a few imaginative individuals have thought of creative sexual things to do with them. And way before vibrating controllers there were games in the '80s with sexual content like Leisure Suit Larry. Seeing as video games are all about fantasy, it seems inevitable that someone will connect the new technologies and the content and come up with a successful game that adults will want to play. The technology has been getting better, as the recent Nintendo Wii really upped the interactivity of video gaming with its wireless controller. The Wii Remote can be used as a handheld pointing device and can detect motion and rotation in three dimensions, and people have already been thinking about uses for a 'wii-brator'. Microsoft's Xbox consoles now have live video being integrated with game play so you can see who you're playing, so I'm sure it won't be long before someone figures out a way to sexualize that as well.

The question is, will the game makers ever make good enough games to entice adults to buy them? Perhaps even more importantly, given the incorrect assumption by many that video games are a 'kids-only' from of entertainment, will the politicians and the console companies even allow these games to be made? One day there might be a separate, walled-off 'adult-only' games section at your favourite gaming store, but don't hold your breath that it will be anytime soon.

Posted by Michelle
Wednesday, May 02, 2007 10:31am