Have A Happy Period

So for some reason menstruation keeps coming up in conversation this week. So first, have a gander at a clip from last week's episode of America's Next Top Model, via Jezebel. And then: I can't seem to find a reliable source that ascertains that this letter is indeed 'PC Magazine's 2007 editors' choice for best webmail-award-winning letter', as it is claimed on the net, but a friend forwarded this to me, and I had to laugh. Let us know if you can confirm this-Apparently it's a letter a consumer sent to Procter and Gamble:

" Dear Mr. Thatcher,

I have been a loyal user of your 'Always' maxi pads for over 20 years and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the LeakGuard Core or Dri-Weave absorbency, I'd probably never go horseback riding or salsa dancing, and I'd certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach in tight, white shorts. But my favorite feature has to be your revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company smart enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic. I can't tell you how safe and secure I feel each month knowing there's a little F-16 in my pants.

Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? Ever suffered from the curse'? I'm guessing you haven't. Well, my time of the month is starting right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces violently surging through my body. Just a few minutes from now, my body will adjust and I'll be transformed into what my husband likes to call 'an inbred hillbilly with knife skills.' Isn't the human body amazing?

As Brand Manager in the Feminine-Hygiene Division, you've no doubt seen quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customer's monthly visits from 'Aunt Flo'. Therefore, you must know about the bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood swings, cryingjags, and out-of-control behavior. You surely realize it's a tough time for most women. In fact, only last week, my friend Jennifer fought the violent urge to shove her boyfriend's testicles into a George Foreman Grill just because he told her he thought Grey's Anatomy was written by drunken chimps. Crazy!

The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is just crawling with homicidal maniacs in Capri pants... Which brings me to the reason for my letter. Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful I wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always maxi-pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing, were these words: 'Have a Happy Period.'

Are you f------ kidding me? What I mean is, does any part of your tiny middle-manager brain really think happiness - actual smiling, laughing happiness, is possible during a menstrual period? Did anything mentioned above sound the least bit pleasurable? Well, did it, James? FYI, unless you're some kind of sick S&M freak, there will never be anything 'happy' about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Motrin and Kahlua and lock yourself in your house just so you don't march down to the local Walgreen's armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of glory.

For the love of God, pull your head out, man! If you have to slap a moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn't it make more sense to say something that's actually pertinent, like 'Put down the Hammer' or 'Vehicular Manslaughter is Wrong', or are you just picking on us?

Sir, please inform your Accounting Department that, effective immediately, there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have chosen to take my maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will certainly miss your Flex-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your brand of condescending bullshit. And that's a promise I will keep.

Always...

Best,
Wendi Aarons
Austin , TX "

Posted by Emily
Monday, March 31, 2008 2:31pm

Mr. Personal Trainer

For most of my life, I was one of those people who loathed the gym. I hated the idea of moving your body in some completely uncreative way -- not to mention the gross feeling I got when I imagined myself sweating alongside another greasy, panting person.

I preferred my exercise to nurture my creative spirit as well as tone my body. From ballroom to belly dance - I fell in love with exercising my body, mind and spirit.

However, as my job increasingly began to demand creative solutions to sometimes mind-boggling problems, I found myself being seduced by the type of exercise that shuts off the mind completely. The kind of exercise that forces you to be just a body.

A few months ago, I began working with a personal trainer in an attempt to conquer my fear and disdain for the brainless, metal machines in the gym.What I didn't expect was to develop a minor, high school-esque crush on Mr. Personal Trainer.

My personal trainer is about 10 years younger than me.
He has no idea who Mark Holmes is.
He has the unfortunate tendency to mumble when he speaks.
He is built like a line backer.

In essence, he is the antithesis of the type of man I am typically physically attracted to. However, after a few weeks of working with him, I found myself becoming mildly turned on by the fact that I was being forced by him to do a series of mindless and yet physically demanding tasks. It also didn't hurt that he had to consistently correct me to make sure I was in the proper position and complimented me when I did something really difficult.

Although this strange affliction has somewhat subsided since I've gotten used to our "relationship" - I still get a mild flush when I see him. All I can say is a little crush can do wonders for your exercise program-

Posted by Berrygrl
Friday, March 28, 2008 5:04pm

Male Pregnancy... Finally

In a recent story featured on the Advocate.com the question is posed "Is society ready for this pregnant husband?", in reference to Thomas Beatie, a married (trans)man who is currently 5 months pregnant. You can check out his story here.

While I can only imagine the amount of raised eyebrows Beatie and his wife have to endure presently, I see Thomas Beatie & his family as a sign of things to come. A sign that maybe, just maybe, the grip gender has on our ability to conceive of different kinds of families is weakening. Beatie's story forces all of us to scrutinize the role gender plays in making families, and parenting children... I for one am thankful to see things get all the more blurry. Is society ready for this pregnant husband? I can only speak for myself here, but I am shouting an emphatic "Yes!".

Posted by shasha
Friday, March 28, 2008 3:18pm

Archaic Contraception

The other day while perusing digg.com, my favourite online source for "news, video, and images", I stumbled upon a link to "History's 10 Most Terrifying Contraceptions", courtesy of cracked.com. There were some cringe-worthy highlights I feel compelled to bestow upon you:

• Ever thought of using a Diaphragm made out of crocodile poo? Not your style? Then what about one made of gold and silver? Or one made of opium. How about drinking ground up beaver testicles, or strapping weasel balls to your leg to ward off pregnancy? Drinking mercury and blacksmith water was also an option available to us ladies. And lest we forget: the coca-cola douche!

Considering what my sisters before me had to endure never again shall I complain about having to swallow a small, tasteless pill 20-some days per month. I shall revel in delight and be thankful for advancements in contraception! (Although I'm sure I'll still find time to complain). Cracked.com also posted an equally amusing read called "The 25 Most Disturbing Sex Toys".

Posted by Ainslie
Thursday, March 27, 2008 11:50am

Peep Show

As springtime approaches slowly - it's snowing AGAIN here in Toronto as I speak - I thought it would be fitting to mark the passing of Easter here at SexTV. Growing up in Canada as the daughter of somewhat secular Muslims, for me (and my mostly secular, Christian friends) Easter was all about egg hunts and chocolate bunnies. Sometimes we dyed hard-boiled eggs, which was fun though I hated eating them. I remember once finding a hard-boiled egg in my slipper sometime in May. Ick.

Anyway, today a friend at work reminded me that there are actually several reasons behind all the symbolism of eggs and bunnies. Both are symbols of fertility and rebirth, but see here for a brief history of the Easter egg and other Easter traditions.

For more random, fun facts about what Easter eggs and chocolate bunnies mean in today's world (ie. according to 76% of Americans, Chocolate bunnies should be eaten ears first) click here.

Posted by Layal
Tuesday, March 25, 2008 3:52pm

We HEART Lesley Arfin

Right now, we’re working on a story about Lesley Arfin. You may remember Lesley from her Dear Diary column in Vice Magazine. Well, she’s recently published an incredible book/diary/memoir called, you guessed it, Dear Diary. So keep an eye out for that. In the meantime, we think you should check out her digital-diary, er blog.

You will love it.

Posted by Chris
Tuesday, March 25, 2008 3:32pm

Polaroid R.I.P

A couple of months ago, the Polaroid Corporation announced that by the end of 2008 it would abandon instant photography. So so sad, not only for world of art the art where so many great photographers have used Polaroid film (William Wegman, Chuck Close, David Levinthal etc etc.), but also for the world of erotic imagery . To me polaroids just say sex. Maybe that's partially because I came of age in the early 80's when the erotic landscape was very different than it is today. Porn was very hard to come by (so to speak) without going to seedy theatres in sketchy parts of town. Porn Magazines were our bread and butter because they were a little easier to acquire, but to me the pictures were too slick and the scenarios they depicted seemed false and forced . By far the most interesting part of these mags was at the very end where amateurs sent polaroid pictures of their girlfriends. These were real women in real sexual situations. The polaroid pictures captured the lust of real lovers, and to me they were twice as erotically charged as the centrefolds. It's an obvious point - but before digital film, polaroid was the only way regular people photographed their sexual experiences. Nobody wanted to go to the one-hour-photo lab to pick up intimate photos that had been passed around by all the employees - how could you look at them in the eye? But besides that, there was something about the hazy, slightly out of focus look of a polaroid that captured something about what sex feels like. Sex itself is hazy, heated and indistinct. There was also something exciting about watching the pictures slowly develop before your eyes. It seems far-fetched but to me that matched the rhythm of love making and the way sex makes time crawl. Damn I'm making myself sad. I'm also writing in the past tense, but luckily Polaroid still has a few months of life so I'm going to hang on to my polaroid camera, stock up on the film and enjoy this beautiful medium until the very end.

Posted by Pedro
Tuesday, March 25, 2008 3:29pm

When Good Friday Goes Bad!

To celebrate Good Friday this year, ABC's investigative news show 20/20 aired a 2-hour expose into the world's oldest profession. Hosted by Diane Sawyer, "Prostitution in America: Working Girls Speak," covered topics from the legal brothels in Nevada, to the indentured slavery of inner-city Pimpdom, to the scandalous world of high-end call girls. It was quite clear that the show was capitalizing on the recent controversy surrounding fallen politician Eliot Spitzer - no surprise there. But less clear and quite puzzling was the show's apparent connection to Good Friday. Had it not been for Diane Sawyer's tireless reminders coming in and out of commercial breaks, we might have completely forgotten that we were supposed to make the moral leap to J.C. And if we still weren't convinced, Sawyer closed with a quote from the bible: "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone." I know there was a lesson there, I'm just not sure what it was.

Check out the link!

Posted by staylor
Tuesday, March 25, 2008 3:27pm

The Case Against Human Monogamy: Monkey Balls!

I've been reading a lot of Dan Savage books recently. Dan Savage is a sex advice columnist who strongly believes that human monogamy is impractical and unnatural. I found an interesting tidbit in one of his books, Skipping Towards Gomorrah, where he quotes a study that attempts to prove that human females were historically nonmonogamous by examining monkey balls. Yes, monkey balls. Monkey scrotums. Monkey nuts, if you will.

Apparently, you can tell how faithful the females of a primate species are by examining the size of the male's sack relative to his body size. Due to sperm competition, if the females sleep around a lot, the males have to develop larger testicles in order to produce more sperm so that they will be more likely to get to the egg. For example, since Gorilla females are unwaveringly faithful, the family jewels of the male Gorilla are rather teensey (there's no other sperm to compete with). And since Chimp females are big sluts, male Chimps need to have big honkin' rocks to beat out the sperm of all the other Chimps. When it comes to humans, we apparently have pretty big gonads relative to our body size which indicates that human females were rather unfaithful historically.

Anyway, I just thought it was some interesting food for thought. More interesting food for thought is just how many words there are for balls! In this blog alone there's balls, scrotum, nuts, sack, testicles, family jewels, rocks, gonads. I guess it's like how Eskimos have so many words for snow.

Posted by Bluj
Tuesday, March 25, 2008 3:22pm

SHAMROCK SHAKE

I can't stop watching this most amazing dance... I don't know if it has a name, but I'm calling it the "shamrock shake" because of St. Paddys Day.

[Link]

Posted by Juggz
Monday, March 17, 2008 3:25pm

The Politics of Poop

We have some pretty unusual conversations around the office. There are a few subjects that tend to resurface and engage our staff in a lively discussion on a regular basis: circumcision; hair (all of it - head, pubic, arm, facial); and bathroom habits.

Toilet talk is a big one - men vs. women washroom etiquette; stall size; sitting vs. squatting; sanitary habits; gender-neutral loos; bathroom banter.. and the list goes on.
And somehow - no matter which route the conversation takes - all roads tend to lead back to talk of Number Two (especially where the female sex is concerned) - one of the most universal human experiences, and yet the one most shrouded in angst and embarrassment.

This week Salon.com featured a piece (http://www.salon.com/mwt/feature/2008/03/12/poo/) about what your poo can tell you, which outlines how to read your "crystal ball of intestinal health". The recently published Poop Culture: How America is Shaped By It's Grossest National Product (www.poopthebook.com) explores how our antagonistic relationship with poop even impacts the way we deal with the physical byproduct, and the social and environmental issues that arise due to the fact that we're too uncomfortable to discuss them.

Throughout his career, Belgian conceptual artist Wim Delvoye has produced several works that push the limit of what we tend to be comfortable with when it comes to all manners of excretion. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6WHIaf-x0jo) His famed installation Cloaca (http://www.cloaca.be/) is a computerized mechanical system designed to mimic the human digestive process. A poop machine, if you will.

I was with friends on the weekend whose 5-month old hadn't defecated in a week. At one point, I was holding the baby and felt her pushing. The five adults in the room stopped what they were doing and gathered around the baby, waiting in eager anticipation. When she finally did - thank goodness - there were LITERALLY cheers in the room, followed by a careful, collective examination of the diaper as if the new addition to the room might have brought with it clues as to why it was such a latecomer.

Love it or lump it, poo does a body good.

Posted by Lady Elaine Fairchilde
Monday, March 17, 2008 3:17pm

In Search of Happiness

Media are like a pack of hounds chasing after the same rabbit, and that's a cliché for a reason. An idea or a story pricks our interest and soon we all think it's a good idea: enter the public discussion. The past few weeks seems to be characterized particularly by a similar story that, I expect, is here to stay for a while. The story goes something like this: I have a great life, but I'm infertile; I have a great life, but I'm single; I have a great life, but my politician husband cheated on me with prostitutes and now I'm supposed to stand by him in public while people debate the meaning of my facial expression. This culminates in something like the Are Modern Women Miserable? story. It is a story which ultimately points to the difficulty of maintaining a sense of happiness. We're looking for the Holy Grail all over again - something to help fill a void and bring about a better world. Now our grail is happiness and it seems to be impossible to acquire when faced with a multitude of modern choices: 100 types of cell phones, drive or public transit, stay at home mom or go to work mom. But, essentially, what are we even talking about? What is happiness? A quick look at Dictionary.com reveals happiness defined as 1) the quality or state of being happy and 2) good fortune; pleasure; contentment; joy. I think it's the second definition that has created this mounting public discussion. Good fortune, pleasure, and joy are all relatively fleeting experiences. Perhaps then contentment is what we should be aiming for. But, if we are to take the Buddhists word for it, that is also a fleeting experience that requires no expectations and living completely in the moment. Extended contentment requires us to be almost non human, even dead. So-.in the real world, then, why should we even try to constantly heap our plate with happiness? I like the idea that Eric G. Wilson proposes: melancholy is essential for our creative productivity. Isn't that the paradox of being human, that you can't have happiness without melancholy or joy without its evil twin despair and so on along the binary train? Or maybe we should just take our cue from the animal world for the next step in our discussion. As this video demonstrates, at least one kangaroo has an understanding of how to create pleasure in a world dominated by media driven debate. Hmmm, Sextv may be on to something...

Posted by Stacked
Thursday, March 13, 2008 4:17pm

"Sex Infections Found in Quarter of Teenage Girls"

Yesterday, the New York Times reported that "Sex Infections Found in Quarter of Teenage Girls". As a parent of a 14 year old girl and an older sister to a 12 year old (who's mother is African Canadian), these are shocking statistics (nearly half the African-Americans in the study of teenagers ages 14 to 19 were infected with at least one of the diseases monitored in the study - human papillomavirus (HPV), chlamydia, genital herpes and trichomoniasis, a common parasite). I immediately emailed the article to my daughter and became scared. Have I talked to my daughter enough about sexuality and STI's? Considering both her parents work for Sextv, I certainly hope so! But... what if she did contract an STI... would I blame myself? Then I read today's blog post in Feministing http://www.feministing.com/ where they wisely stated, "using the term "infected" sounds like there has been an outbreak of birdflu and feeds into the sci-fi notion that some incurable disease is spreading that we are powerless against." We can regain our power as parents and educators by giving our kids really great, comprehensive sex eduation. Abstinence-only education programs do not work and sex education begins at birth. I also agree with Feministing when they state that "it's important to look at the risks for young women and educate and spread resources accordingly, but it is very short-sighted to assume that this is a problem only for young women." Why aren't teenage boys mentioned in the article? Is there an implied moral judgement here -- like the old VD scare campaigns of the past when prostitutes and working class girls were blamed for spreading all venereal diseases. The truth is, that if boys aren't being given good sex ed from both their parents and the schools then they will be far less likely to wear condoms... they'll be far less aware of how to sexually pleasure girls without intercourse...they'll be more inclined to watch sexist pornos as a form sex education... and they may not be getting tested for STI's as frequently.

The smart girls from Feministing drive home the point: "Where is the study that shows how young women are getting these STDs? Why is the burden and spotlight only on young women? What are young men doing that is leading to "high risk" behaviors and leading to young women being "infected?"

Posted by Michelle
Wednesday, March 12, 2008 5:00pm

Retro Revival

In today's culture of easily accessible porn, it's hard to imagine a time when you had to go digging through a store in some sleazy part of the city to find it. I mean do you ever wonder what our parents and grandparents did for porn? Because it was definitely around, and I'm sure they got their hands on it somehow.

Anyway, here are some vintage porn sites that have some great stuff. For some reason it feels like there's a lot more playfulness and even innocence in these shots. Maybe this comes from the diverse body types, the natural body hair and the lack of silicone breasts... or maybe it's just that many of the images are black and white? And even though some of the stuff is more explicit than you'd think, it still doesn't seem to have the sleazy feel that is present in so much of today's porn.

Vintage Lovelies - http://vintagelovelies.com/
Delta of Venus - http://www.deltaofvenus.com/main.html
Taschen Vintage Nude Photos - http://www.vintagenudephotos.com/

Posted by J.A. Rankin
Wednesday, March 12, 2008 4:42pm

The Cho Show

Margaret Cho is getting her own TV show! Hopefully the producers of this one won't send her to the hospital with their tyrannical demands that she lose weight. Actually, it's cool 'cause she IS one of the executive producers, so she can finally do it her way. By the way, who else is hating the term "celebreality sitcom" - what is with that? Anyway, click here to watch a clip from SexTV's interview with Marg.

Via Feministing

Posted by Emily
Tuesday, March 11, 2008 1:18pm

Who didn't have a crush on Prince Jon?

Every week I look forward to Jezebel's Friday feature, Fine Lines, in which they "give a sentimental, sometimes-critical, far more wrinkled look at the children's and YA books [they] loved in [their] youth". I have to admit, I raid the children's section at the public library waaay more often than I do the rows of adult fiction and literature. So I was rather tickled (okay, more like really excited) when this past Friday's post featured one of my all-time favorites, Alanna: The First Adventure, by Tamora Pierce. It's about a girl who dresses up as a boy so that she can train to be a knight at the royal palace. All your typical girl-trying-to-pass-as-boy stuff ensues, including the dilemma of having to navigate getting your period, growing breasts, communal bathing situations, proving that you can fight as well as a boy can, being smaller, and of course, what to do when you start developing feelings for someone who doesn't know your true identity.

The book was published in 1983 (the first of a series), and its plot archetype is one that is well-represented in anything from ancient history and classic literature to silly teen flicks. I know the whole gender-swapping thing more or less acts as a tired plot device now, but the issues of power and femininity it addresses never cease to be relevant (which is how I justify reading Alanna at my ripe old age). In terms of this particular novel, well, Fine Lines guest-writer Emily Gould points out that its implicit message is "If you show any sign of "femininity" or weakness, you leave yourself open to attack" (I can't help but think of Hillary right now…), but as a 10-year-old, I just loved its girl-can-kick-butt sentiments, and it's probably one of the few books I read as a kid where the protagonist used birth control (okay, so it was a magic amulet or something, but one can dream) and it was no big deal. Ha.

Posted by Emily
Tuesday, March 11, 2008 1:13pm

Oh Petel

I think every girl goes through a Anne Frank: The Diary of a Young Girl phase. For my twelve-year old self, that book was the beginning of a summer obsession with Holocaust-themed novels (Devil's Arthmetic; Daniel's Story; Upstairs Room). Last week a news piece made the rounds that a photograph had been discovered of Anne's childhood crush, Peter Schiff (not to be confused with Peter Van Daan). In her diary, she writes:

"I forgot that I haven't yet told you the story of my one true love".

"Peter was the ideal boy: tall, slim and good-looking, with a serious, quiet and intelligent face. He had dark hair, beautiful brown eyes, ruddy cheeks and a nicely pointed nose. I was crazy about his smile, which made him look so boyish and mischievous." (Link).

This is just one of those not-exactly-breaking-news items that I love. I hadn't thought about this book in years, and now I'm wishing I had my well-worn copy here - even though the diary is an artifact of Holocaust, it was Anne's accounts of her first love, first kiss, complex relationship with her mother, and being a teenager that really resonated with me.

Posted by Emily
Tuesday, March 11, 2008 1:02pm

Once

I saw the movie, I was kind of charmed by it, but when I found out that Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova were a real-life couple, I kind of loved the film a little bit more. I can't quite articulate why, but this short little column on them made me smile. You can also listen to the music they wrote together from the film on the official website here.

Leonard Nimoy and The Full Body Project

Recently Leonard Nimoy was interviewed by Colbert for his new photography book and exhibit, The Full Body Project.
Here's a clip. The interview is quite funny and Nimoy is laughing with Colbert, but everything Nimoy says is true. Women are being bombared with unrealistic standards of beauty and pre-packaged versions of femininity and sexuality. As a result, women of all ages are suffering from a whole host of body-image problems and self-esteem issues. Our first show this season "Packaging Girlhood" explored many of these issues through the eyes of three 13 year-old girls -- girls who join a small rock camp to find out who they really are.

Heather MacAllister Founder and Artistic Director of The Original Fat-Bottom Revue - is quoted on the Full Body Project website as saying, "Any time there is a fat person onstage as anything besides the butt of a joke, it's political. Add physical movement, then dance, then sexuality and you have a revolutionary act. "So, despite the fact that we were all laughing during Colbert's interview, or felt uncomfortable by the pictures, Nimoy's photography is still a bold, radical statement.